Friday, July 6, 2012

The Road to The Expendables 2: Dolph Lundgren in Masters of the Universe

Explosion Count: 2 good explosions, 5 weenie ones

When I was a kid, I loved He-Man. More than Transformers, more than GI Joe, I loved He-Man. So when they announced a live action film starring Dolph Lundgren (fresh off of Rocky 4) and on paper, he fit the role perfectly.

Unfortunately the film wasn't written well.

Essentially, Skeletor takes over Castle Grayskull to get The Sorceress's power and to beat He-Man. He-Man and company escapes to Earth and lose their cosmic key. Mayhem ensues.

And by mayhem I mean He-Man fights some of Skeletor's troops, Monica Geller and Lt Tom Paris get caught up in the action which leads to a final showdown between Skeletor and He-Man.

As an artifact of the 80's it's got everything. it was a Cannon film, Dolph Lundgren, the hard ass principal from Back to the Future, lasers, a Drew Struzan poster. It also had a young Courtney Cox and the dude who played Paris on Voyager.

The problem is that the movie itself isn't very ... well... He-Man. Skeletor (played masterfully by Frank Langella)'s troops are basically Stormtroopers. Orko has been replaced by Gwildor and while Man At Arms and He-Man are similar to their cartoon counterparts but neither are actually in the movie a huge amount. A lot of Skeletor's standard back up goons aren't here, replaced with lesser characters.

And what's the deal with He-Man using a gun all of the time?

And this wasn't a cheap movie either, 22 million for a budget and a lot of quality sets and costumes. Some of the effects aren't so great, He-Man on the hover board for instance is pretty terrible. The ending also kind of rips off Jedi a little... and has time travel that doesn't make sense.

Overall, more fun than Delta Force.

It just doesn't feel a lot like He-Man.

Gen's review: "It was like... I'm going to be He-Man but have laser guns and stormtroopers" and then as the credits rolled "All of you people should be ashamed!" to the tv.

Next Week JCVD!

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