Two Assholes Talking About Nerd Stuff

Mystery Asshole Theatre #11 - Star Wars - Part 3

2011-12-11T22:45:00.002-05:00

Due to a number of factors (not the least of which being real life getting in the way of podcasting for both Assholes), this has been delayed, but no longer. The masses shall have our Star Wars commentary, and not a moment too soon.

Since it's been a while since the last episodes, this would be a good opportunity to go back and listen to them again, just to get yourself familiar with how annoyed we all were at this stage of the movies. Remember, the Two Asshole, and various Guestholes remained completely sober during the first three episodes (ie. the shitty episodes), with nothing to fuel us but spite and sugary cereals.

Needless to say, we were basically hammered 5 minutes into Episode 4, when we were finally allowed to drink. But you'll have to wait a bit longer to experience that one.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre Episode #11 - Star Wars - Part 3

Episode 31 (High Quality)

2011-08-29T23:04:00.003-04:00

After a sizeable delay in the delivery of our regular episodes, we finally bring you a new one. Fresh off of the adventures of the Two Assholes at FanExpo, we bring you a hastily cobbled together podcast. I say hastily cobbled together because the lack of lead time meant that I was forced to forego all of my usual Photoshop shenanigans, and stick with rather simplistic imagery.

Next time, though, I am going to Photoshop the shit out of some cosplayers....

Download Episode 31 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 31

2011-08-29T23:04:00.002-04:00

Next time, though, I am going to Photoshop the shit out of some cosplayers....

Download Episode 31 - iPod Enhanced Version

Mystery Asshole Theatre #13 - Street Fighter: The Movie

2011-08-15T22:29:00.003-04:00

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is still August, so it is still MAN MONTH. The lack of update last Monday was due to my being on vacation and without internet access. So, you should have had plenty of time to watch last year's Man Month features to stave off femininity.

This week, we bring you a movie that was responsible for the death of a prominent and well-loved actor that was not Brandon Lee. No, this time the Two Assholes, and a few Guestholes got together to watch and lambaste Street Fighter: The Movie, yes, that one.

If you really don't know which actor this movie killed, then you should really just grab some cheese-in-a-can, oil up your chest, and settle into the ass-groove in your favourite piece of furniture for this manly morsel of macho mandom, man man man man man.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #13: Street Fighter: The Movie

Mystery Asshole Theatre #12 - Mortal Kombat

2011-08-01T22:54:00.002-04:00

In accordance with tradition, the month of August is officially MAN MONTH, and that means commentary tracks to the manliest of manly man movies, by the manliest of manly man men, the Two Assholes, plus those guests of theirs that are considered sufficiently manly to participate.

This week, we have been joined by our good friend John Pollock, from the Fight Network, to relive some of our best memories of the '90s by providing us with some MMA-style fight calling for Mortal Kombat. The rest of us just provide our usual commentary, which is equally enjoyable.

So sit back and enjoy our machismo filled repartée and relive one of the coolest movies that the '90s, and video games, ever gave us.

PS - Before anyone asks, yes the rest of the Star Wars commentaries are coming, but we like keeping you in suspense. Also, MAN MONTH, goddamnit.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #12 - Mortal Kombat

Episode 30 (High Quality)

2011-06-07T22:04:00.000-04:00

We've finally reached the 30th episode, and we all know what that means, don't we? That's right: Video Episode.

This time, the Two Assholes gathered together a number of Guestholes (and introduced a new one), to throw down on one of our most anticipated games ever: Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Oddly enough, of the 6 video episodes we have done, 3 have been Capcom fighting games. We seem to have a pretty substantial hard-on for them, and will probably continue doing them as more are released. Incidentally, if anyone from Capcom is reading this, some promotional copies of new fighting games would go a long way to ensuring our continued marketing efforts, wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

Download Episode 30 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 30

2011-06-07T22:00:00.002-04:00

We've finally reached the 30th episode, and we all know what that means, don't we? That's right: Video Episode.

Download Episode 30 - iPod Enhanced Version

Mystery Asshole Theatre #11 - Star Wars - Part 2

2011-05-30T22:37:00.002-04:00

Well, listeners, you wanted it, and so you shall have it. Episode 2 of our monumental Star Wars undertaking is now here for your listening pleasure, and should be the beginning of an entertaining summer here at TATANS.

Not only do we have four more Star Wars episodes, but we can never forget about the eighth month of the year, Man Month. In short, you should strap yourself in this summer for more of the Two Assholes, and various Guestholes, delivering comedy gold directly to your download window.

For now though, share with us only the beginning of the pain that was an afternoon of Star Wars.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #11 - Star Wars - Part 2

New Facebook page

2011-05-10T20:12:00.002-04:00

In light of Facebook trying to do..er..something with groups...I think get rid of them... we have begun an exciting new Facebook fan page.

You can find it here

And on that page we have a poll up for what should be our last two entries in our Man Month dvd commentary spectacular. Help us chose what we will mock!

Episode 29 (High Quality)

2011-04-29T22:37:00.003-04:00

Unfortunately, we've had some delay in the past few episodes, primarily because I've got a pretty busy working life, but every so often I manage to get my ass in gear and put together an episode for you. So, here you go, in all of its relatively dated glory. Hopefully you enjoy this enough to be in eager anticipation of Episode 30 (aka, a video episode).

Download Episode 29 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 29

2011-04-29T22:37:00.002-04:00

Download Episode 29 - iPod Enhanced Version

Wrestlemania Chat

2011-04-03T23:30:00.003-04:00

Hey guys. Well it's Wrestlemania so it's time for Evan and I's annual Wrestlemania msn chat transcript. There's some funny stuff in here but if you want a slightly more informed version, check out our good friends at Live Audio Wrestling's show.

E.R.F says:

HYPE!!!!!

Let's trash some matches

Brent says:

Hey some of it might be alright

E.R.F says:

Brian Danielson and cm punk and UT will be the saving graces tonight

the rock being the rock

Brent says:

And Snookie should be a big enough train wreck that it'll be fun. Except for poor Trish stratus

E.R.F says:

hey man a pay day is a pay day. Predictions?

Brent says:

Yeah but that started off as just Tough Enough and then she got stuck with that crap

Predictions... I think Shamus over Danial Bryan, Dustin Rhodes over Rey, Alberto Del Rio over Edge, Orton over Punk, Cena over Miz, and Undertaker is pretty much a given

oh and Lawler over Cole

E.R.F says:

do you think takers forgone conclusion takes away from whatever match he'll be in?

Brent says:

Not really.

E.R.F says:

also it's a shame that cena and the rock have more of intrigue than miz and cena

Brent says:

Besides we now have more of a question about what Metallica song HHH is coming out to.

E.R.F says:

king nothing?

hurrrrr

what???????????

Brent says:

oh if you tweet wrestling shit for the night, the law is using the hash tag #lawradio

E.R.F says:

title at the beginning?

Brent says:

Wow, Edge is the curtain jerker

E.R.F says:

wrestlemaina confirmed to be shit

Brent says:

eh, I figured it'd be third but they do do this sometimes. You know get a title at the beginning and get one at the end

not to mention out of all the matches, this has the second shittiest build.

E.R.F says:

yeah...my bet's on del rio

Brent says:

fuck Brodus clay getting a pay day lol

E.R.F says:

it is his DESSSSSTINY!!!!!!!!!!

he looks like an enemy from final fight

Brent says:

Only problem is who do you feed to Del Rio next?

It's safe to assume that the next thing up for Edge vs Christian, right?

E.R.F says:

has to be

don't know who you'd feed del rio to

whomever wins edge vs. Christian

Brent says:

Maybe do a three way and then split it off afterwards?

E.R.F says:

probably the best route

Christian as champ would be awesome

Brent says:

Heel or face though?

E.R.F says:

HEEEEEEEL

Brent says:

Cause I love Edge as a heel FUCK

E.R.F says:

yeah but Christian isn't Vince's typical champ\

Brent says:

Very true

Del Rio is good though, I just wish they had built this more

E.R.F says:

one sec

Brent says:

back

E.R.F says:

yes it is

hope that one day we have del rio - mistico

Brent says:

yeah man. He debuts tomorrow

E.R.F says:

is that when they're doing it?

Brent says:

Yup

well mistico debuts tomorrow rather

NICE

that top rop enzguri was awesome

what the hell is that?

E.R.F says:

couldn't tell you looks funny though

Brent says:

wow....okay so my score is 0-1

E.R.F says:

DESSSSSSTINY denied

0-1 for me too

that stage looks slick

Brent says:

agreed

Just key it with the title

E.R.F says:

crowbars work better

Brent says:

lol I was close

Del Rio is selling this amazingly

E.R.F says:

I'd be crying like a child too if I had to spend my mania payday fixing my car

Brent says:

Note, no Canadian broadcaster has TE

E.R.F says:

TE?

really?

Brent says:

Tough Enough, no one picked it up

E.R.F says:

wow

cody vs rey...rey will come out lookinbg like thor

book it

Brent says:

Maybe Captain America

E.R.F says:

hitler>

book it

shit son

Brent says:

His mask lends more to it.

E.R.F says:

you think reyrey would put over mistico....excuse me sin carna on his way out?

Brent says:

Quite possibly but I have no idea when Rey is getting out

E.R.F says:

wwe abides by a board of comissioners now?

Brent says:

lol, just tweeted the same thing

Cody chants?

E.R.F says:

look at where we are man this is old wcw country

AMERICAN DREAM IF YOU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL

so is like cody going to be heading like an oddities 2.0 faction?

Brent says:

god I hope not. Don't mention it again or someone will do it

E.R.F says:

it'd be awesome to see him team with golddust though

Brent says:

will give it to Cody, his workin pretty good tonight

E.R.F says:

he'll be great

after his run in the oddities 2.0

Brent says:

fuck off lol

E.R.F says:

by the way what are you drinking for tonight's festivities?

Brent says:

Right now nothing, going to pour myself something soon. in a match or two or the divas match, whatever comes first.

You?

E.R.F says:

peroni now

moosehead next

Brent says:

peroni?

E.R.F says:

scotch after

champange when wins

Brent says:

lol

E.R.F says:

taker

Brent says:

AWWW That was a solid kick

E.R.F says:

YESSSSSS

CODY!!!!!

Brent says:

so we're 1-1

(our predictions were the same yes?)

E.R.F says:

yep

Brent says:

can't wait until JR comes out

E.R.F says:

The Undertaker, Jerry Lawler, CM Punk, Sheamus,

Brent says:

"So happy to be here...so glad I'm not on Charlie Sheen's tour"

E.R.F says:

and I don't care who wins the cena match we all lose in that match

Brent says:

This is a WM payday segment if I've ever seen it.

E.R.F says:

hey man the undercard has to eat some how....even hornswoggle

by the way bullshit for what happen to finlay

Brent says:

Agreed, that's why the divas match may suck horribly

brb, drink time

E.R.F says:

this rest stop by brent is brought to you my mongoose malt liquor. it'll kill all the taste buds on your tounge and about 150 brain cells

Brent says:

back did we call this match?

E.R.F says:

no but my money is on santino and no one else

also wade SHOULD be in a match by himself right now

SQUASHHHHHHH

Brent says:

you realise that around Jan we were thinking Wade vs UT?

E.R.F says:

yep and HHH and sheamus

that would have made, you know, more sense

Brent says:

so 2-1 we now stand

E.R.F says:

i need a moosehead

we all win when santino wins

Brent says:

URGH and with May Young we all lose

Nice

(for those who are actually still reading this, Austin's last match was with The Rock)

E.R.F says:

PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brent says:

Agreed

Think bryan and shamus got cut?

E.R.F says:

I hoe to hell they didn't they could have easily cut that 8 man a second ago

Brent says:

you know, despite the builds for the matches, WM kind of reminds my why I still watch... this also kind of washes the bad taste of TNBA out of my mouth

E.R.F says:

for sure the best of the best go out there and do a damn fine job. besides the rumble it's the one night of the year that I still mark like a kid

that being said PUNK!!!!!!!

Brent says:

lol

Punk has done a great enough job that it doesn't hurt his character at all to lose

Nice stairs spot

surprised Punk still wears the Nexus armband though

E.R.F says:

wonderful kick

yeah I figure for the story line interesting to see what happens to the rest of the nexus when they come back

Brent says:

most of them have been sent back to Florida

E.R.F says:

shit hitman sharpshooter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Brent says:

Josh Mathews is carrying this broadcast. Another thing I never thought I'd say

E.R.F says:

the annonching has been a clusterfuck cole and lawler shouldn't be there if they have a match

josh is doing a fine job though

Brent says:

Agreed

there's another thing, what do you do with Cole and Lawler tomorrow?

E.R.F says:

fire cole for his derrogatory remarks and hire J.R.

if it wan't for the fact that he was in a match, his ass would have been fired

Brent says:

lol...yeah unfortunately that ain't going to happen

E.R.F says:

good match so far

Brent says:

I love that DDT

E.R.F says:

the voices

he hears them

Brent says:

they talk to him... or so I've been told

did you listen to the LAW's preview podcast they posted yesterday?

E.R.F says:

no man working like a dog...something, somehting

will be listening tonight though

great finish

Brent says:

Agnew brought up something similar to your idea. McMahon likes his revenge big, WM being the biggest stage of them all. Is tonight Cole get's his bitch slap for his twitter comments?

Man that finish was so well timed

E.R.F says:

that would be wonderful

vince is a go big or go home type of guy

and if i had to listen to mathews from now on I wouldn't be totally disappointed

Brent says:

Pee Wee fuckin herman?

E.R.F says:

pee wee gotta get paid

Brent says:

fuck, now I feel bad for Koslov

E.R.F says:

THE FINK!!!!!!!!!

Brent says:

THE FINK!!!!

ABBY IN A SUIT!!!

E.R.F says:

Sunny has cleaned up well

Brent says:

She's cleaned up in the last few years

E.R.F says:

R.I.P. Road Warrior Hawk

So does Duggan's board get inducted into the HOF too?

Brent says:

Apparently the Road Warriors hall of fame segment was pretty good

I think it airs on Monday before Raw.

E.R.F says:

I like the fact they inducted the road warriors manager along with them

damn the cole lawler match

Brent says:

It makes sense. While he wasn't a big deal in the WWE, every other territory they were in before that, Paul Ellering was a big part of them

Shamus and Bryan must have been cut

E.R.F says:

Every once in a while they getit right

BOOKER T!!!!!!!

Brent says:

WHAT THE FUCK

Booker T????

ARGH!

E.R.F says:

black snow

Brent says:

Where the hell is JR and a tire iron when I need them

E.R.F says:

we need chet lemon stat

Brent says:

Thank the lord

E.R.F says:

bah gawd!!!!!!!

hell fire and brimstone!!!!!!!!

the thing with cole is that it isn't even good heat that he

's getting he sucks at what he does

Brent says:

wait for the Austin pop about to come

Yeah but Lawler has been getting him over.

E.R.F says:

calm before the storm

Brent says:

JR told me I can order his sauce through the WWE online store.

E.R.F says:

huuurrrrrr BBQ sauce taunt

Brent says:

Personally replied to my tweet and everything

E.R.F says:

bring that shit to the next party at adam's I'll bring the ribs

Brent says:

...man I know it's not "real" but I can't wait till Lawler punches him in the face.

E.R.F says:

lawler is old school he'll let a little knuckle in there

Brent says:

....what the hell did booker just say?

E.R.F says:

couldn't tell you

austin is gettim more money than all of the midcarders in that snopp dog segment

this beer is great

Brent says:

lol

did you see the RAW he last appeared on a week or two ago?

E.R.F says:

austin?

LAWLER IS THE TRUE KING OF KINGS!!!!!!!

THAT SHIT IS DECADENT

Brent says:

lol, his outfit looks like King Randor's

E.R.F says:

NICE!!!!!!

So, what Lawler vs. Swagger?

this is bullshit

Brent says:

I love this

E.R.F says:

guess I was wrong

Brent says:

And the Cole mine being use is great

E.R.F says:

the GM computer is there

just noticed it

Brent says:

kind of surprised cole has tats

E.R.F says:

tats of bunnies and doves and vince don't count

Brent says:

lol

E.R.F says:

cole hear's voices too

they sound a lot like vince

Brent says:

hehe

E.R.F says:

they chanting lawler or boring?

Brent says:

I'm not sure

I've heard a rumor that Lawler isn't able to use a piledriver

E.R.F says:

damn

yopu took the words out of my mouth

Brent says:

Right hand from Lawler

right in the mush

E.R.F says:

highlight of the match right here

Brent says:

here's a pop

E.R.F says:

hge did that drop kick better than cena's

playing taps for him

Brent says:

lol

watch the beer throws

The jays should hire the wwe time keeper for outfield

E.R.F says:

where the hell is booker going

yep!!!

stunner!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn gm BS

Brent says:

lol you shouldn't have noticed the computer

E.R.F says:

shit mathew's just got initiated!!!!!!!

Brent says:

urgh that finish of the finish was shit

so what's our score standing at?

E.R.F says:

yep

2-4 now I reckon

Brent says:

fuck

we suck

E.R.F says:

vince sucks

Brent says:

bet those guys who came for shamus are pissed

E.R.F says:

no man they're drunk man

Brent says:

you're just racist against the irish

E.R.F says:

that's neither here nor there right now

I like guiness

taker and trips now

????

what>

Brent says:

I knew it wouldn't be last but before the Divas match?

E.R.F says:

"it'z all about teh Snookerz bitchez!!!!"

Brent says:

still

I was curious if this or Cena's match would go last

although it's 9 now right?

so we got two hours left?

E.R.F says:

this will go 40 min hopefully?

Brent says:

I was figuring an hour for this, and 40 for Cena

E.R.F says:

oh shit man

Brent says:

FUCK YEAH

Great song to enter to

E.R.F says:

ah yup!!!!!!!!!

like we were saying before things like this make us mark like kids

and I'm marking like a 12 year old!!!!!!!!!!1

Brent says:

Okay have to admit, the entrance is pretty fucking cool

E.R.F says:

LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brent says:

How long HHH been out? Almost a year?

E.R.F says:

he left just shortly after mania last year

and I'm going to mark again for this enterance

Brent says:

lol

I love him coming out to Cash

Should be a good match for Triple H to end his career on a high note

E.R.F says:

knowing him he'll stick around and burry some more up and comers just doe good measure

for

Brent says:

yeah...but it'll be less frequent. He's going to be like The Rock was his last year or two. Not as many performances, coming in for big shows

E.R.F says:

where there's money to be made

Brent says:

man this entrance is fantastic. It's pretty much like Triple H wrestling against Death for his life.

E.R.F says:

yes'm

going to be interesting to see how much rust these guys have

Brent says:

You know that the match is completely wrong on the streak?

E.R.F says:

what do you mean?

Brent says:

Okay you've been following the build for this match right?

E.R.F says:

yep

Brent says:

So the current run of the streak is 18 - 0 correct?

There goes The Cole Mine!

E.R.F says:

yeo

good riddance

Brent says:

But in all the promos that mention the streak they mention the Undertaker has buried 18 opponents

That is incorrect.

There are two ways to look at it. All the promos fail to mention the Trips has lost to UT at Wrestlemania.

As well, UT has face Kane twice at WM

Now there is a handicap match in there where UT defeated Atrain and Big Show

E.R.F says:

yeah but they're banking on the fact that the WWE universe isn

't all that smart

Brent says:

So depending on how you look at it UT will defeat a total of 17 men or 16 men.

E.R.F says:

and you can't bury the guy who's married to the boss' daughter

Brent says:

lol

to be fair, Trips will do a job when he feels it's needed

E.R.F says:

true it's been five minutes and both of these guys are winded

mind you I think UT is trying to kill Trips

like actually murder him

he'll go to jail

Brent says:

Well in UT's favor, I imagine that next year is the last one

E.R.F says:

and be accused of murder

it'll be a hell of a run

Brent says:

Agreed

E.R.F says:

then he'll have to go to jail for life

Brent says:

lol

and then replaced by Jeff Hardy on the card?

E.R.F says:

he'll get a repreve to wrestle at mania next year

no man vince

Brent says:

lol

I think Vince is done

E.R.F says:

not if he has to sell ppv buys

Brent says:

I'm curious about the numbers this pulls. WWE is aiming at a million

I also love the fact so many other wrestlers from TNA and not in the fed are watching

NICE!

E.R.F says:

well this is the superbowl for wrestling so they want to see how it's done

we're all fans

Brent says:

Shane Helms has running commentary

E.R.F says:

I saw 950,000 buys because of the rock and a weak card

say

one almost cancels the other

Brent says:

I think less do to streaming

been a while since UT used that

E.R.F says:

vintage

Brent says:

kick out

they got 10 more mins

E.R.F says:

trips is going through that cube floating above the ring

book it

Brent says:

cube floating above the ring?

E.R.F says:

there is a cube floating above the ring for video and stuff they showed it in the beginning.

trips is going through it for sure

Brent says:

how high up?

E.R.F says:

40 feet

these two will make it happen and make it look believable

Brent says:

...how the fuck do they get that high?

E.R.F says:

don't worry

an elaborate pyramid of chairs

Brent says:

and maybe the guys from nexus?

E.R.F says:

if it works for TNA why not the WWE

Brent says:

sledge hammer spot

E.R.F says:

oh you know it's coming

that's not PG

Brent says:

was that unprotected or UT get his hands up?

E.R.F says:

think he got his hand up

Brent says:

Fuck that was good

E.R.F says:

ARE THEY ACTUALLY GOING TO END THE STREAL TO TRIPS

yes it was

LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD CHILD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Brent says:

I'm betting there was a bit of a rest spot in there due to a thumb in the eye. UT's had some crying going. Look at the mascara

Sledgehammer time

E.R.F says:

sledge in the HOP in 2014

book it

HOF

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Brent says:

Doesn't matter about the ropes Lawler, no holds barred

E.R.F says:

SHIT@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|\

DONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

wow

Brent says:

I love that hammer tease

E.R.F says:

ayup!

rematch next year

Brent says:

Nah, not for the last one

E.R.F says:

question: does he put over someone or walk out perfect

Brent says:

oh no, UT has died yet again

E.R.F says:

hey man vacation time

Brent says:

fuck he just got back lol

druid come out to get him?

druids rather?

E.R.F says:

mayhaps

or all the druids turns into one big druid and take him out

Brent says:

flock of druids?

E.R.F says:

a murder maybe?

a gaggle

we need to check the wikipedias

Brent says:

I want to name my next band Flock of Druids

E.R.F says:

I'll front you the money for a year supply of mascarra

so much selling

did they foregt the druid costumes

Brent says:

ah man, no druids

E.R.F says:

time for the scotch

Brent says:

k, keep track of what's going on, gotta take a dump

E.R.F says:

i'm going to get booze

i'd gladly watch morrison ziggy but not with this other shit

alright maybe laycool

maybe just layla

maybe

may

so while brent releaves his insides I'll give you running play by play of the show on mute

trish looks wired with brown hair

I don't hear any booing for teh Snookerz

and all hell has broken loose

mrs taker vs trish

wow that was a hell of a spill

Brent says:

back

Mrs. Taker?

well that was mercifully short

E.R.F says:

teh Snookerz is athletic

Brent says:

when not drunk

E.R.F says:

never mind dude it was probably written into her contract that she had to pass a sobriety test

vince ain't no fool

Brent says:

lol

E.R.F says:

the miz is headlining Wrestlemania

roll that around in your head for a bot

bit

using nas to pimp miz

Brent says:

eh, He was doing good until the Rock came in

E.R.F says:

i'm done with him

Brent says:

lol

E.R.F says:

call me old school but I think that the champ shold be able to pull off a great match by himself

Brent says:

a choir for Cena?

E.R.F says:

cena's black now?

Brent says:

Yeah? What's wrong with you? He's just a lght skinned brother?

...is that DMX's voice?

E.R.F says:

and Cena comes out to DMX?

what the hell is going on?

Brent says:

No idea but I like the idea... wow listen to those boos

E.R.F says:

We all lose in this match

mmmmmmmmm bitter boos

and a new shirt to match

Brent says:

I love the law comment on twitter

E.R.F says:

trying to give two of the whitest dudes some cred

with the black intros

Brent says:

Next year Diddy vs DMX at mania

E.R.F says:

I'd pay actual money for that

like I'd phone someone and order it

and put it on my credit card

monesy would exchange hands for services rendered

money

JR on play by play is the redemeing quality fo this match

you think the federation uses plants in the audience?

Brent says:

nah, plants in audio maybe

E.R.F says:

so is miz the favourite in this just given how much everyone hates cena

Brent says:

just me or does this match seem really slow

E.R.F says:

they don't know all that many moves so you can't use them all at once

Brent says:

Nice even flow ddt from miz

E.R.F says:

horrible stf from cena

Brent says:

The only stf I've ever liked was Masa Chono's

E.R.F says:

you are correct sir

Brent says:

That's right, I pulled out my Japanesse wrestling card

E.R.F says:

and you were right to do so

Brent says:

Now they've started working hard

E.R.F says:

WHAT????????

I'll say it again WHAT???????

double count out and out comes the rock

Brent says:

here comes the rock

E.R.F says:

this is bad

so they're going into extra time like raw?

Brent says:

not 11 yet

There it is

E.R.F says:

lame duck champion is lame

they didn't do a damn thing to bolster the miz as a legit champ

Brent says:

Rock looking much better in the ring then monday

E.R.F says:

for sure

Brent says:

He's a lot bigger right now too

E.R.F says:

but he isn't going to be on raw for the next year

'dem roids

Brent says:

Agreed. I bet he's doing Summerslam and then done

E.R.F says:

Brent says:

He was up to 275 for the next fast and furious

and now I've got porn on my feed

E.R.F says:

sweet feed

Brent says:

So how'd we do over all here evan?

E.R.F says:

I think we did a fine job. mid you we're old and bitter and vince isn't trying to market to us. That said, trying to be as objective as I can, Wrestlemania, while some matches were grest (Punk/Orton), they didn't deliver on the what a mania show should be

The miz is still a lame duck champ who can't win clean and the spotlight was hogged by the old guard

C- at best for me

what says you good sir?

Brent says:

I'd say over all a C to C+ for me. The Miz is left weak (victim of booking for the entire feud)

E.R.F says:

and they fucked the dog on Edge/ Del Rio

Brent says:

Punk vs Orton was great and the UT and Trips pulled a great match too. The rest felt like they could have been on any other ppv.

E.R.F says:

perfectly said

shall we pass it over to the boys at the LAW, then?

Brent says:

agreed. Go to www.liveaudiowrestling.com to hear their views.

Oh what was our score?

E.R.F says:

damn 3 right 5 wrong

Brent says:

Eh better then last year I think

E.R.F says:

it looks like

bizarro booking

it's been a pleasure man let's do this again next year

Brent says:

Agreed

E.R.F says:

www.liveaudiowrestling.com go there and check it out shouts to pollock and agnew

two assholes talking about wrestling stuff

Brent says:

lol well said.

Mystery Asshole Theatre #11 - Star Wars - Part 1

2011-03-19T21:47:00.002-04:00

Well, loyal listeners, the Two Assholes, and all of the Guestholes sat down and took on just about the largest commentary project that we could possibly have managed, the entire Star Wars saga. We sat down one fine Saturday, and churned our way through all 6 core movies, and to top it all off, we did it in one sitting, with only minimal breaks between films.

It was a monumental undertaking, and it really started to break down during the last two movies, but we did it, and it's finally time that we shared it with you. For ease of your listening pleasure, it's been divided into 6 parts, so that you don't necessarily have to watch all 6 movies along with us in one sitting. Trust me though, you'll understand where we were coming from much much better if you do.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #11 - Star Wars - Part 1

Episode 28 (High Quality)

2011-02-14T23:18:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a substantial amount of time since the last episode, predominantly because I've been exceptionally busy between work (ie. trials), medical issues, and plain old laziness, it's taken this long to get the episode up. It's a good thing for me that we don't have a fixed update schedule, eh?

Anyway, the Two Assholes bring you their Fan Expo 2010 episode, which actually involved us scoring a few good interviews. This is surprising because A) We were really only there for one day, and B) We only had one interview scheduled, and just happened to schmooze our way into the rest of them.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the episode. I'll have the next one out in less than 6 months, I promise.

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Episode 28

2011-02-14T23:14:00.002-05:00

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the episode. I'll have the next one out in less than 6 months, I promise.

Download Episode 28 - iPod Enhanced Version

Mystery Asshole Theatre Xmas Special 2010 - Star Wars Holiday Special

2010-12-24T21:38:00.003-05:00

Despite the lack of content in the last few months (which is primarily a result of my work schedule being spectacularly busy, and then further compounded by some medical issues which knocked me out the past week or so), we are always ready, willing, and able to deliver a Xmas special for all of you Nerdlets and Nerdlettes out there (whether naughty or nice).

In truth, these Xmas specials seem to be more our cross to bear, as our track record thus far has us doing only the most awful holiday specials imaginable. So, this year, we decided to prepare a special commentary track to the Star Wars Holiday Special, the one piece of Star Wars canon so awful that George Lucas refuses to give it a commercial release. Instead, we have to rely on VHS copies (now digitized) from the original broadcast in 1978.

So, endure the pain with us, after you've gone to the store to rent your copy, and have an enjoyable December holiday of your preference.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre Xmas Special 2010 - Star Wars Holiday Special

Take Flight dvd release

2010-12-07T22:39:00.003-05:00

Hey friends, just want to give you all an update on a project by a good friend of our show. Juliet Landau's documentary on Gary Oldman making a video for a Jewish hip hop band has made it's way to dvd. As I reviewed in a previous blog post, the doc is a rather interesting look at both Oldman as an artist and Landau as a director. And maybe if we Canadians buy enough copies, maybe she'll come for a visit.

If you happen to be in LA this weekend, Ms. Landau is doing a signing, screening and release party at Meltdown Comics. Might be worth the trip down...especially considering our situation with snow.

To order the dvd please go here

TATANS Extra #4: An Interview with Andrew Vachss

2010-10-17T21:57:00.003-04:00

After such a content filled August, it was inevitable that there would be some sort of break, in order to give you time to digest all of the Vitamin Awesome that we were dishing out. It can be filling, we know.

But, we're back now with a brief morsel to whet your appetite for more full-fledged Two Asshole action.

This week, Brent sat down (at the telephone) with renowned author Andrew Vachss to talk about his latest works, and any number of other things that come up. Enjoy, and we'll be back very soon with the Fan Expo run-down.

Download TATANS Extra #4: An Interview with Andrew Vachss - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 27 (High Quality)

2010-09-01T22:37:00.002-04:00

Sadly, Man Month 2010 has come to an end, but as a final send-off, the Two Assholes (and Guesthole #3) decided to sit down and reminisce about some of the manliest movies from the manliest man movie decade, the 1980s.

After that, we headed out to watch the 1989 classic (strangely only released in 2010), The Expendables. We then sat down to bump fists, drink motor oil, and perform other manly tasks inspired by the manliest man man movie to ever man the man man man man.

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Episode 27

2010-09-01T22:32:00.003-04:00

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Episode 26

2010-08-31T00:08:00.005-04:00

In order to ensure that August, 2010 is the most content-filled month that the Two Assholes will ever have, here's another episode.

This time, we need to look way back to the beginning of the convention season in Toronto, when the Two Assholes sat down at Anime North 2010 with special guest Ashley "Cumslot" MacDonald to share our experiences of the con thus far, and the rest which was still to come.

One would normally think that it would constitute a significant delay to not post until August an episode recorded in May, but we're still beating the Anime Roundtable to air. Be sure to tell Mike how much you want to hear the Anime Roundtable episode recorded the same night as this episode.

Also, since Ashley didn't fulfill her duties as charged, we need some input from our listeners. As punishment for her failure, do we A) Refer to her only as "Cumslot" again, B) Give her an even worse name, or C) Give her one final chance to redeem herself? Let us know what you think in the Comments.

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Episode 26 (High Quality)

2010-08-31T00:08:00.004-04:00

In order to ensure that August, 2010 is the most content-filled month that the Two Assholes will ever have, here's another episode.

Download Episode 26 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Mystery Asshole Theatre #10 - The Street Fighter

2010-08-30T17:05:00.003-04:00

Unfortunately, the time has now come to draw Man Month 2010 to a close. Sadly, there must always come a time when we must cease eating bricks and waxing our mustaches, and return to the real world, scraggly and wussy as it may be.

Before that, however, the Two Assholes (and Guesthole #1) have decided to give you one final dose of Vitamin Awesome in the form of a commentary track for the 1974 Sonny Chiba classic, The Street Fighter. Notice the "The", there. This is most assuredly none of the two-bit pieces of garbage licensed from the 16-bit classic video game. This is 1000MBit of pure, ridiculous karate (from Japan, not China) action shoved straight down your collective pie-holes (and any other holes you may choose to shove it down).

Unfortunately, you're likely going to have to spend a significant amount of time looking for a store to rent this beast of a film from, but when you do, you'll be glad the Two Assholes sent you. So sit down with some scrap metal and motor oil, and enjoy the conclusion of Man Month.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #10 - The Street Fighter

Mystery Asshole Theatre #9 - Road House

2010-08-23T23:16:00.003-04:00

Since you can't spell "Ridiculously macho 80's movie" without "Patrick Swayze", it also stands to reason that you can't spell "4th booster shot of pure man-dom" without "Road House". We really only wish that we had the balls to challenge that logic, but since we don't, in order to keep injuries at a minimum, we sat down to do a commentary to Road House.

You can't get much more manly than a bouncer who gets to arbitrarily decide on his own job title, and whose response to stabbings, punches, and douche-clown-tacular behaviour of all sorts is to just walk it off.

The best we can do is to watch him do his thing. So, sit back, grab a copy of Road House from your mom's collection, and enjoy the machismo.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #9 - Road House

Mystery Asshole Theatre #8 - Highlander 2: Director's Cut

2010-08-17T00:04:00.003-04:00

The barrage of Man Month machismo continues this week with another hefty dose of Vitamin Awesome.

This time, the Two Assholes and a complement of Guestholes sit down to view and expound upon Highlander 2: Director's Cut. For those of you who remember how batshit insane the plot to the original cut of Highlander 2 was, you'll be pleased to know that the director realized it as well. As such, this edition was recut (and some dialogue changed via voiceover) to eliminate the entire alien subplot, and just turn it into a film about decapitating people in the most creative ways possible.

Really, the creative decapitation is the only reason why this movie qualified for Man Month. So, head out and find a cheapo DVD version of this film (as we could not find a store to rent this one from), and join us for the machismo.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #8 - Highlander 2: Director's Cut

Episode 25

2010-08-14T23:41:00.006-04:00

You listeners are in for just about the most content-filled month that you could possibly ask for. Not only have you received a brand new episode of the show, but already you've been blessed with two commentary tracks in honour of Man Month.

And now, another freakin' TATANS episode, and a video episode to boot. This time we didn't have the resources to play a brand spanking new game as usual. Instead, the Two Assholes got together with Guestholes 1 through 4, and sat down to play a game that we had always kind of wanted to review, Tatsunoko vs Capcom. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as we did.

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Episode 25 (High Quality)

2010-08-14T23:41:00.005-04:00

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Mystery Asshole Theatre #7 - Over The Top

2010-08-09T23:16:00.003-04:00

Man Month continues this week with another commentary track to another macho movie about big manly man muscles, and feats of brute strength and machismo. In order to ensure you get a few healthy servings of Vitamin Awesome, we sat down with the underlooked Stallone classic, Over The Top.

This is the sort of movie that makes you want to drive a transport truck across the country, chug a beer, and punch someone in the face. As such, pop in your favourite copy of Over The Top, or head down to the store to rent one, and enjoy the track.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #7 - Over The Top

Mystery Asshole Theatre #6 - No Holds Barred

2010-08-03T22:37:00.003-04:00

Since we enjoyed Blaxploitation History Month so much, the Two Assholes have arbitrarily decided to decree the month of August to be.....Man Month!

So, in the spirit of Man Month, we gathered as many manly men as we could muster, and made them sit down with the manliest movies for manly men that we could manage. In fact, every week during Man Month, we'll be delivering a machismo-filled commentary for the most ridiculously macho movies that we could find.

So, if you've been lacking some beef, beer, motor oil, and combat sports in your diet, then this month should provide you with enough Vitamin Awesome to keep you going until next year.

To start off, the Two Assholes sat down with a few of the Guestholes, and two very special guests from the Fight Network, John Pollock and Wai Ting.

So, go out to the local video store to rent a copy of No Holds Barred, and get yourself ready for a face full of awesome.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #6 - No Holds Barred

Episode 24 (High Quality)

2010-07-31T16:33:00.001-04:00

After a lengthy delay (part of which is due to my vacation), we have returned to our roots with a standard Two Assholes episode. This time, Brent and I sit down and chat about some current events in the videogame world.....which you'll quickly discover is somewhat dated. This is one of the downsides to recording episodes substantially in advance.

Nevertheless, if you're here, you'll hopefully still find us entertaining enough to listen all the way through. Next time, another video episode!

Download Episode 24 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 24

2010-07-31T16:30:00.003-04:00

Nevertheless, if you're here, you'll hopefully still find us entertaining enough to listen all the way through. Next time, another video episode!

Download Episode 24 - iPod Enhanced Version

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage dvd review and other thing

2010-07-14T18:05:00.003-04:00

So apparently a lot of people like Rush. I know this now because my review of Beyond the Lighted Stage is still constantly clicked on, two months later.

With that in mind, sometimes it's interesting to check out a movie at home for a second viewing and see if it still stands up. I'll be honest, I rather liked Episode 1 the first viewing, it was only on subsequent viewings that the parts that sort of bugged me in theater became glaringly bad.

With that in mind, I got my hands on the 2 disc dvd version of Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage and was happy to find that the experience still stands up. My intial review of the film is still 100% in tune with my current opinion after watching the dvd. I still love the movie, my Dad currently has my copy in line for watching it and I'm waiting to hear his views (I didn't mention it in my initial review because it's a little anecdotal. Alex and Geddy from Rush group in roughly the same neighborhood as my Dad. At this time we have determined that all three went to the same junior high at approximately the same time and close to the same grade. This film has thrown an interesting mystery as my Dad doesn't remember either of them).

So there you go, the movie is still awesome. But what about the dvd?

The dvd is pretty awesome. Picture clarity is really good, sound quality in 5.1 is also really decent, especially during the performance pieces.

As for extras, there is a bunch of extended scenes, interviews and performances that I really enjoyed. These are truely fun to watch for two reasons. The first is that it shows a bit of how skilled film makers Sam Dunn and Scott McFayden are. While these scenes are interesting (I loved the bit about their hobbies) not only can you understand why they were taken out but in some cases you can see how the guys cherry picked the right moments out of an extended sequence.

Over all, if you are a fan of music docs, this one belongs on your shelf.

Our good friends at Explore Music, Jeff Woods and Alan Cross both have rather interesting stories with Rush.

Check out Alan's take on how Rush influenced a key decision in his life at his Explore Music blog.

And not to be left out, our good friend Jeff Woods recently sat down with Geddy and Alex and discussed the film, touring, life and music. Here's a taste of it:

You can find the entire interview here.

By the way, the movie completely converted me. I've picked up and started to listen to a lot of Rush since May.

Surprisingly, one of my favorite tracks is one from their 90's album Counterparts. Here's a live performance of Animate.

Episode 23

2010-06-26T13:30:00.006-04:00

It's difficult to get all 5 Guestholes together with us for an episode, but there's not much better to do it than a movie for which all of us had high expectations. To counter the craptacularity that was Clash of the Titans, the Two Assholes decided to organize another movie episode. This time, we went out to see Kick-Ass.

It wouldn't do any of us very well to tell you right now what we thought of it, so best to have a listen. As always with our movie episodes, if you want the authentic experience, listen to the first half prior to seeing the movie, go out and watch it during the break, and then come back to listen to our debrief.

In any event, you will want to have seen the movie prior to hearing the latter half of the episode, as we tend to play fast and loose with spoilers.

As always, let us know what you think in the comments.

Download Episode 23 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 23 (High Quality)

2010-06-26T13:30:00.005-04:00

In any event, you will want to have seen the movie prior to hearing the latter half of the episode, as we tend to play fast and loose with spoilers.

As always, let us know what you think in the comments.

Download Episode 23 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 22 (High Quality)

2010-06-07T00:31:00.001-04:00

Clash of the TATANS!

We've had this episode planned for some time, primarily just so that we could use the pun.

In all (relative) seriousness, though, on this episode, the Two Assholes are joined by Guesthole #3, Sean May, and brand new Guesthole #5, Rob Scott, from Bite Radio and Bite Daily, go to the movies, and review the re-make of Clash of the Titans. Then, when they get tired of that, their minds, as usual, turn to random childhood oddities.

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Episode 22

2010-06-07T00:27:00.003-04:00

Clash of the TATANS!

We've had this episode planned for some time, primarily just so that we could use the pun.

Download Episode 22 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 21

2010-05-09T17:23:00.007-04:00

It's been a little while, but the Two Assholes are back with an episode that was recorded some time ago. In this instalment, the Two Assholes visit the inaugural Toronto Wizard World comic convention in order to see the sites, and provide you with an honest opinion as to the convention itself.

We also managed to sit down with a couple of guests, both of whom have been featured previously on the show, and neither of which have yet been assigned Guesthole numbers.

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Episode 21 (High Quality)

2010-05-09T17:23:00.006-04:00

We also managed to sit down with a couple of guests, both of whom have been featured previously on the show, and neither of which have yet been assigned Guesthole numbers.

Download Episode 21 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage review

2010-05-01T04:09:00.003-04:00

* Full Disclosure: I attended the screening of Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage along with Guesthole Brandon Gardiner due to passes provided by Anthem Entertainment Group. If you follow this site at all, you already know that nice to me or not, if your movie sucks, I will say it sucks and why. Ask the people at Anchor Bay. They send me free dvds every month and a good chunk of them get rip apart. We clear? Good.

I am not the world's biggest Rush fan.

Don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed Rush but I've always been more of a "greatest hits" Rush fan then a must own every album fan.

But when I saw the trailer for the new documentary Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage from Scott McFayden and Sam Dunn, I knew that it was something I wanted to see.

McFayden and Dunn are the duo behind two of my favorite documentaries over the past few years, Metal: A Headbanger's Journey and Global Metal. I was curious to see their take on a band I had a bit of interest in, their doc on Iron Maiden "Flight 666" was pretty decent and that was a band I had no interest in at all but their skills as film makers brought Maiden into such a light that I enjoyed it beyond my lack of musical interest.

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage is damn near perfect.

The film goes through Rush's career starting from the moment Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson meet in Willowdale, Ontario and right up until their latest tour. As far as I can figure, there is nothing skipped or overlooked in the documentary. McFayden and Dunn even managed to find footage of Rush's very first show. We follow the band from the early days with drummer John Rutsey to when Neil Peart was brought on board. From the ups and downs of record sales, the indifference or down right hatred of critics to the adulation of Rush's hardcore fans and Neil Peart's family tragedies, not many stones are left unturned.

In fact, one of the more interesting portions of the film deals with what is referred to as the "Neil Peart Cold Shoulder". If you've ever been around the Toronto music scene in any sort of long term capacity (played in it, know people who play in it, etc, etc), you've heard about it. I've heard comments from various friends and associates ranging from "shy" to "aloof" to "asshole". Given the overall positive nature of Beyond the Lighted Stage, this might have been a topic the film makers could have shied away from and no one would really blame them. But to their credit, they confront it with Neil himself and by the end of the segment you get it. He's just not particularly comfortable with the whole fame thing.

I also really enjoyed how Beyond the Lighted Stage goes through the various transitions in Rush's sound. It was great to see the different reactions from different people about the changes. It seems that each band member has a different take on which album solidified the "Rush sound" and it was cool to hear that expressed. Along with that I loved hear for the famous fans about which albums they liked and the juxtaposition of having a clip from Tim Commerford (Rage Against The Machine) saying he became less interested in the band when they started heavily using keyboards followed by Trent Reznor talking about when the keyboards came in he got more interested in the band. It's this type of balanced treatment that grabbed my attention in the movie.

The film itself is a wonderful feast of a documentary. Archival film footage, photo montages, video footage, concert footage, candid stuff, driving around the old neighborhood, interviews with the band members, their parents, fans, famous fans (Jack Black, Les Claypool, Trent Reznor and a host of others), Dunn and McFayden use every trick in the book during the film to make it interesting and it works beautifully. Everything is great to watch and despite the fact that all of these different tools are used, it never seems too busy. The timing of the film is very well done. Serious points are dealt with but Sam and Scott seem to know the perfect moment to drop in a piece of humor without making any serious point seem frivolous.

Speaking of which, the guys in Rush are really funny. Who knew?

Usually when I do a review, I tend to point out all of the good points and then point out the bad or what I would change. As you might have picked up, there is no bad in this film (at least from my point of view). It is well paced, interesting, funny and an overall joy to watch.

What would I change, being the backseat filmmaker that I am?

Nothing.

I thought about it good and hard on my way back from the screening and every suggestion I had, I shot down. I would have liked to seen more of Trent Reznor and some of the other interviewees but at the same time that's just a personal bias and wouldn't have fit the film at all so scratch that. The only thing I could come up with, that was in anyway sort of valid is you don't see any real interviews with all three members of Rush. We see a lot of them separately or Geddy and Alex doing interviews and Neil by himself but the trio are very rarely in the interview portions together. But thinking about it, there is a very good chance that it would have interrupted the incredibly smooth flow that Beyond the Lighted Stage posses so let's throw that idea out for a DVD extra.

Final Verdict:

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage is a terrific documentary and surpasses what Dunn and McFayden have done before in both technical and thematic senses. I went in as someone who wasn't a huge Rush fan and left as someone who wants to listen to everything Rush has ever done. More importantly, I left wanting to see the film again. And take my Dad. And my friends. And my neighbors.

It was that good.

To put it another way, I got in to this screening for free. I will gladly pay money to see it again whether that be in theaters or on DVD.

And to Scott and Sam (on the off chance they read this), at the Q&A session after the movie, you mentioned that you might be knocking on AC/DC's door for your next film project... If I give you fourteen bucks now, can you guarantee me a ticket for the first screening? I know it might not be for a few years but after watching this, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth the wait. (and if AC/DC blows you off, Nine Inch Nails please!)

For screening news on Beyond the Lighted Stage, check out Banger Films official blog . It seems to be the most up to date resource for release dates.

Special Thanks goes out to our good friend Jeff Woods of Legends of Classic Rock fame who went above and beyond the call of duty (listen to his show! I mean it! I have a shovel and a large trunk and I'm not afraid to use either of them!) and Anthem Entertainment Group.

Episode 20

2010-04-25T19:45:00.007-04:00

It's been a little while since the last episode, but the wait is over, and was entirely worth it. As is the TATANS tradition, being a fifth episode, we've put together a video episode for your enjoyment.

This time around the Two Assholes got together with Guestholes 2 and 3 (Alex Krueger and Sean May) to do a little comparison between Perfect Dark for the Nintendo 64, and the HD re-release on Xbox Live Arcade. In short, we sat down and played video games for an hour or so, and talked about it all.

Be prepared to be filled with feelings of nostalgia, and be further willing to shell out the Microsoft Points to go buy the XBLA Perfect Dark, as you may have the inclination to do so once you watch us go through it.

Download Episode 20 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 20 (High Quality)

2010-04-25T19:45:00.006-04:00

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The Philadelphia Experiment

2010-04-24T06:54:00.003-04:00

The Philadelphia Experiment is one of those movies a sort of remember from my youth. I remember it starred the dude from Eddie and the Cruisers and a navy ship that disappears but that was about it.

So I was happy to see it appear in my latest bundle of dvd's from Anchor Bay Entertainment as part of the Alternate Realities line.

The movie is based around the legend of the USS Eldridge, a navel ship that supposedly was used for experiments to cloak it from radar. These experiments went awry and people were fused to the ship, missing, etc etc.

No, it didn't really happen, there is a ton of evidence to contradict this story.

But it got turned into an awesomely cheesy sci-fi movie.

David Herdeg (played by Michael Pare the aforementioned Eddie and the Cruisers guy) and Jim Parker are sailors assigned to the Eldridge during the Philadelphia Experiment. The ship not only goes invisible to radar but disappears, needless to say the sailors on the ship itself go a little nuts. Jim and David think the ship is going to explode and jump off, straight into a time tunnel!

They reappear in the future, a helicopter chases them straight towards an electric fence, which Jimmy grabs on to, gets electrocuted and in something that makes no sense, an electric bolt shoots from the fence and blows up the helicopter.

We then go through typical time travel shtick; they find a German beer bottle and wonder if they lost WW2, find a Coke can and marvel at the lightness of the can.

In the meantime, a whole town in the present has disappeared.

Are they connected?

Are you high? Of course it is!

The Philadelphia Experiment is one of those 80's sci-fi movies that's very 80's but still somewhat enjoyable. The DVD presentation has a crisp picture and sound to it that kind of surprised me. Clean picture and 5.1 surround. There are virtually no extras on this disk and it should be noted that re-issue of the disk from a few years back with different packaging.

If you've never seen it before and like a bit of 80's cheese with your time travel, definitely worth a rent or a buy.

The Philadelphia Experiment is available on DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment

GravyTrain review

2010-04-24T04:19:00.004-04:00

FULL DISCLOSURE

It should be noted that we (Brent and Adam) attended the gala premier of GravyTrain with tickets provided by the film-makers. April and Tim have been nice to us in the past with posters and cd's to give away as prizes and are generally all around good people. That being said, I (Brent) feel that this review is still balanced and if you listen to the show you know I'm not one to play favorites either in terms of reviewing.

GravyTrain is the latest film by Canadian independent film makers April Mullen and Tim Doiron who last brought us the Rock, Paper, Scissors: Way of the Tosser, a film that was a really interesting little indy film set in the world of Rock, Paper, Scissors tournaments.

GravyTrain follows the story of small town cop Chuck Gravytrain (Doiron) and his newly assigned partner Uma Booma (Mullen) as they try to track down the elusive Jimmy Fish Eyes, the town's notorious criminal mastermind and killer of Chuck's father. The film features performances by Colm Mochrie, Tim Meadows and Alan Frew of 80's rock band Glass Tiger.

And for me, unfortunately, it's a film that doesn't completely work. BUT it may work for you. Just keep reading and I'll explain and I promise it's not a cop out.

Humor is hard. It's the hardest thing in the world to get right with everyone. What I find funny and what you find funny could be two totally different things. Neither one of us would be right or wrong...unless you like Bruno...and if that's the case, what the hell is wrong with you?

Where the film works (for me) is the world Tim Doiron created. Tim wrote GravyTrain as well as being the principal actor and to both ends he did a great job, especially for only his second feature. The world of Gypsy Creek really grabbed me. I love the fact that it had a whorehouse that the law didn't care about, a bar ran by what could only be described as the love child of Meadow's Ladies Man character from Saturday Night Live and Issac the bartender from The Love Boat and a local tv channel so poor that their main anchor has to do the news's opening theme song.

Not to mention Alan Frew.

Now I've never been and never will be a Glass Tiger fan but Frew as the local homeless man, Ewan McCauley, was a stroke of genius.

April Mullen and Tim Doiron also pull off very well as a comedic duo. April is a classic straight woman to Doiron's absurdity. Both have grown into much better as actors since the last time we saw them in Way of the Tosser.

The town and it's people were just fascinating to me. If you've seen shows like Little Britain or League of Gentlemen (or the Kids in the Hall version Death Comes to Town), it's got a similar vibe to it but totally original. No rip off characters, no stolen ideas, just a similar sense of humor to it. A town where common sense has been thrown out the window but yet it still makes sense.

In fact the town and it's people are so interesting that I didn't care for the actual plot of the film which is where my main problem with GravyTrain lies.

The plot about Chuck trying to find Jimmy Fish Eyes almost seems secondary in comparison with the world it is in and I found myself wanting to see more with Full Serve (Meadows) or the newscaster then I did actually wanting to see a resolution to the central plot.

In fact, if I were April and Tim, I would think about re-working this a little and pitch it as a series. I really think that Gypsy Creek and the adventures of it's towns people and of Chuck and Uma could hold it's own given the popularity of Adult Swim cartoons and the like.

Now on to the technical side.

April Mullen served as co-director on Way of the Tosser and has graduated to directing solo on this one and she has gotten good.

I mean real good.

The directing and cinematography (thanks to cinematographer Daniel Grant) behind GravyTrain is really solid. Mullen's developing a style that works well with in her current genre of films but could lead to some interesting work outside of comedy if she so chooses. It reminds me a lot of Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers, Arrested Development, Chuck) but a bit more cinematic. If April ever decides to give up acting entirely, she'll have a solid career as a director to go into.

So you can see where my review is a bit weird. I rather liked everything about the movie but the actual main story to the film itself. There is obviously a lot of talent at work here both in front of the camera and behind the scenes but for whatever reason, the movie itself didn't fire on all cylinders for my tastes.

Now as to where these young film makers should go from here, Adam, Alex and I discussed it a bit after we exited the theater and we kind of came to a consensus.

Making an independent film is tough. In Canada it's even tougher. Due to budget concerns alone, you have to wear a lot of hats. In an ideal world what I'd like to see for their third film is one of the following:

1) A film written and directed by the pair but not starring.

2) A film starring Tim and April but where they're not writing and directing.

I think at this stage in the game it would do them good to have a bit of separation from the work in one form or another. Both Mullen and Doiron are talented both as actors and director/writer respectively but I think a bit of distance from the work would sharpen things up a bit. Given the nature of the world of independent film, this may not be possible but I'd like to think that given the obvious talent that's involved here that someone will give these folks enough money to make a movie where they can concentrate on the writing process and concentrate on the directing process without them having to worry about getting into hair and make up or hitting their marks. I'd also like to think that someone would see the talent of these two and try them out as a duo in their movie and just have them act together. With either scenario I see really good things happening.

For more details about GravyTrain (including where you can see it for yourself), you can find the official site here

Happy Birthday To Mr. IGGY POP!

2010-04-21T23:17:00.002-04:00

There are very few musical performers who's birthdays I'll mention on this site but it is Iggy Pop's birthday today. He is 63 and can still kick the ass of any band on the planet.

Our good friend Jeff Woods has a great piece on Mr. Pop over at Explore Music and does a much better job then I would do. And not only do I concur with his thoughts, I will just reiterate, Raw Power is one of those albums you must at least listen to if not out right own. Your ears and your brain deserve to hear this album. A couple years ago, Iggy remixed it his own way but I must admit, I kind of like the original David Bowie mix (which was just re-released on cd last week).

So since Jeff (I can call him Jeff because he puts up with my emails on a regular basis and has yet to put out a restraining order on me) covered the history of Iggy, I figured my view will be a little more personal.

For all of his power, energy and just raw man-ness, Iggy Pop is responsible for one of my favorite rock love songs of all time.

Yes I am a sap.

Beside You comes off Iggy's American Caesar album which seems to have disappeared in terms of fans but for whatever reason, it's one of my favorites. I first heard the song on a special Much Music did where they had Iggy take over Much for what I think was around two hours (if anyone has a bootleg of this show, let me know, I WANT IT). At the time I was really head over heels with a girl a year younger then me and Beside You summed up everything my over dramatic teenage horromned brain felt for this young lady. But even out of my teens, this song has stuck with my something fierce. I have a short story that's inspired by the song and video that I may one day unleash on the public and if I ever get half decent on guitar, this song would probably be shoehorned into the set list whether any of the other players liked it or not.

One last note, one of the most surprising things about this rock ballad isn't just that it came from Iggy but that his co-writer on the song is none other then Sex Pistol Steve Jones.

Take a look at Jeff's piece here and then watch the following two videos:

And if you need a bit more rock after that sweetness, here he is with peaches beating on Zombies.

GraveyTrain in Toronto!

2010-04-20T23:28:00.004-04:00

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to do a quick post letting you know our friends April Mullen and Tim Doiron from Way of the Tosser have a brand spankin new flick out called GravyTrain.

Adam and I have yet to see it but the trailer looks pretty good.

If you live in the Toronto area as well as Ottawa and Montreal, I'd check it out. And while you're at it, check out their official site here

Help get us on TV...again...

2010-04-10T18:17:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone, time to rally the troops!

Bite TV and The Conventioneers are looking at doing another live tv event much like they did last year.

And they've asked for who their fans want to have on.

So here's where all 62 of you come in and your friends.

I want you to go to The Conventioneers fan page on facebook and demand that we are brought on the show as Anime/Nerd experts.

The link to the page is

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=2260268847

What's in it for you?

Well I'm not one of those guys who asks of people without offering something in return so here's the deal. I will have prizes for the following:

1) First Person to post on the conventioneers page asking for us to be on the show.

2) Best written post explaining to the conventioneers why they should have us on the show.

3) The person who gets the most people to go on to the conventioneers facebook page and demand that TATANS be part of the show! (for this one you will have to send me an email listing the people you got to do this for you. All of these people MUST be friends of yours on facebook so it can be verrified)

All entries must be done with respect to The Conventioneers (ie don't threaten them or do anything retarded) but other then that be creative. Post youtube videos, sing songs, whatever you want, just help us get on the show.

What kind of prizes you may be asking?

Currently I'm sitting on a stack of dvds from Anchor Bay home entertainment, trade paperbacks and some rpg books from Blue Beetle Comics.

All prizes can be mailed to you or picked up at Anime North.

Help make this happen!

Brent

Episode 19

2010-04-04T19:35:00.006-04:00

After a few weeks in which Adam was unable to work on the episodes (Primarily due to working 15-hour days to prepare for a trial), the Two Assholes are back, with a far more relaxed episode. After the 3.5 hours of the Assies, and a couple of months of special episodes preceding them, we just needed to cool down, and get back to basics with a very simple, sit-down episode.

So, we bring you Episode 19, where we focus on retro gaming on modern consoles, the Muppets, and some bone-headed plagiarism. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as we did.

Lest you worry about further delays in getting episodes out in the coming weeks, we already have 3 further episodes recorded as of this date, so the hard work is already done, and we just have to focus on finalizing the Assholey goodness so that it can be shipped out to you via the internetz.

Download Episode 19 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 19 (High Quality)

2010-04-04T19:35:00.005-04:00

So, we bring you Episode 19, where we focus on retro gaming on modern consoles, the Muppets, and some bone-headed plagiarism. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as we did.

Download Episode 19 (High Quality) - iPod Enhanced Version

Take Flight Review

2010-04-03T19:57:00.004-04:00

Howdy folks.

As you probably know, I got a chance to do an interview with Miss Juliet Landau a little while back regarding her short documentary Take Flight. It's a short doc on Gary Oldman's creative process as he directed a video for Jewish hip-hop band Chutzpah...which he shot on cell phones.

Well as luck would have it, I actually got to sit down and watch Take Flight and thought I'd do a review on it. Juliet was an absolute sweet heart with us (I'm really looking for an excuse to talk to her again as it was a great interview that I'd love to follow up) but that doesn't mean I'm going to pull any punches either.

Take Flight is a rather interesting look at Gary Oldman. He's smiling, he's directing, it's a side of him that we've never really seen before. Oldman tends to be rather quiet with his private life (and who can blame him to be honest) so it's nice to see a different side of him. As well we get to see him improvise and work with the gear, time and money he's got. This video he was directing was low budget. And I mean low. But at no point during the documentary do you hear him complain about the lack of budget. Needs a crane shot? Pass Gary a pool skimmer. Steady cam? That's what duct tape and his chest are for.

Juliet and her crew did a great job of capturing these seldom scene moments. Take Flight itself is wonderfully shot and edited and it's use of classical music is rather well done.

Now what I felt was missing.

There are only one thing I would really change but in all fairness, this is completely a matter of taste, others will say differently and their argument would be just as valid.

For me, the one thing missing from Take Flight is an actual conversation with Gary. We see him from a far and while he's at work but no questions are really asked of him and nor do we hear why he's doing certain things. Like I said, the decision not to do direct interview or narration is a choice I can't fault, but as personal taste, I would have liked to know a little more.

As essentially a first film, Juliet's off to a good start. I can see a good amount of promise there in terms of her skills as a film maker and I'm very curious what she decides to follow this up with.

Oh wait, she already sort of has.

As part of promotion for Take Flight, Miss Landau went out and did a number of short interviews with a variety of creative people from all walks of life. She talks to voice directors, tattoo artists, actors, etc. And while they are just these six minute little interviews, I was really intrigued by them.

And it didn't hurt that she talked to David J, bass player for one of my favorite bands ever, Bauhaus.

I've always been intrigued by the creative process of different types of artists, in fact at one point, I strongly considered writing a book on the subject so these short interviews I find fascinating especially since she spoke to so many different people in different aspects of the arts.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to what Juliet cooks up next and if you're reading this Miss Landau, I am more then ready to make my screen debut. ;)

You can find Take Flight here

and the youtube promos here

I recommend giving both a look.

Mystery Asshole Theatre #5 - Hot Potato

2010-04-01T19:40:00.003-04:00

March may be over, but there's a final hurrah for Blaxploitation History Month.

It didn't really fit our idiom to do the well-known "Black Belt Jones", so instead, we decided to put together a commentary track for its half-assed sequel, Hot Potato.

I could say a number of things about it, but I'm pretty sure we already did, so just go to the store, and rent a copy of Hot Potato, then sit back, and listen to the Two Assholes (plus Guestholes 2 and 3) make it all the more entertaining.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #5 - Hot Potato

Wrestlemania msn play by play!

2010-03-29T12:54:00.003-04:00

For those of you out there who do like wrestling, you might find this somewhat enjoyable or just plain odd.

Here is Wrestlemania as commentated on by myself (Brent aka The Elk...blame Max Brooks) and Guesthole #1 Evan Fraiser (E.R.F.)... via msn messenger.

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
check this link man http://channelsurfing.net/watch-wwe-wrestlemania-2.html

The Elk says:
thanks
YAY!
it works

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
it looks like its a good feed now let's hope it stays

The Elk says:
agreed
any idea who's up first?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
mitb or tag match I reckon

The Elk says:
urgh this is the one match I didn't agree with the booking on
Jon Morrison is being wasted in this team

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
true; give him a year or two he'll have a title shot here

The Elk says:
I hope so
sucks that they didn't bring out JR

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
maybe for the ut vs. shawn?
but michael is a tool

The Elk says:
agreed

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
spanish announce team, their table won't be there by the end
looks like a damn good venue

The Elk says:
yeah... apparently it's nicknamed The Big Toaster
crowd seems into which is a good start

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah
predictions?
wow quick

The Elk says:
yeah, kind of figured Showmiz would keep the belts thought the match might be a little longer though

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
shawn and ut get 40 min confirmed
RKO

The Elk says:
I'm betting it's Orton over Dibiasa and Rhodes, Punk over Myserio, Drew McIntyre in money in the band, Bret with the Sharpshooter, Sheamus over Triple H UT over Micheals, Edge over Jericho and to be honest a toss up between Cena and Batista

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
in cena and batista we all lose

The Elk says:
And if I'm wrong on McIntyre, it'll be Christian and he'll cash it on Edge

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
Punk, christain in the mitb, sheamus ut and jericho with mcintire cashing in

The Elk says:
I'm curious who's going to get pushed for a bit while UT and Micheals are off after WM

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
drew and edge and sheamus and riodtista

The Elk says:
roidtista! brilliant
when did Rhoades and DiBiase get new tights?
and is that the triforce on Cody's boots?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
thier mom's made them for the event
it is there's an article on ign where he says he's a huge zelda fan

The Elk says:
seriously?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah man

The Elk says:
awesome
okay this is what I thought. Rhoades and Dibiase have different tights because they're splitting them, teasing it now hence the new tights, they'd been wearing more or less matching up until today

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
probably

The Elk says:
and Orton is being pushed as the new Stone Cold

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
minus the beer

The Elk says:
well PG Stone Cold
I liked that double ddt

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
oh yeah
rko
and the stance awesome

The Elk says:
man, I hope they sign awesome kong so Beth Phoenix has someone to work with

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
only reason I don't see it happening is she really doens't fit into the diva mold
mitb!!!
but it would be a good pick up

The Elk says:
yeah the problem they have is they can't do the sexy divas anymore but they still love that look.
and very few of them can work
man MVP's intro got cut short

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah

The Elk says:
This should be good, I like everyone in this match

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
SWAGGER!!!!!!!!!
ANGLE!!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
lol ah Shelton Benjamin, one of the best guys on the roster, couldn't get over in a match with a piece of toast

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
toast by submission

The Elk says:
what kind of submission move would a piece of toast have?
oh shit okay I lied, I like everyone in this match but Kane
...who apparently got corked in the eye shortley
short time ago
I hope Swagger starts getting a decent push back into like IC territory

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
toast's finishing: The cinnamon toast crunch
swagger: yeah but he's got the lisp

The Elk says:
yeah, it's unfortante.
He's like Steve Williams but more atheletic

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah
dude I have to go get my suster at work...I'll be back in an hour send me a text to let me know who won mitb
sister

The Elk says:
cool, msg me when you get back online

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
hit you up when I get back

The Elk said (9:06 PM):
you back yet?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
hey man just got in

The Elk says:
okay so apparently rey beat punk

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
sharpshooter !!!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
not only that, the Hart Dynasty will finally be doing something
I think Vince got one move in, the rest was just a beating

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
10 years of frustration

The Elk says:
the storytelling was great in someways. Vince has stated this is probably his last match so this is a very fitting end for that character

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
true

The Elk says:
and Striker had the line of the night

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
strker is awesome

The Elk says:
Natlia (Niedheart's daughter) punched vince in the face and striker chimes in "Best luck on your future endevours Natlia"

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
nice!!!

The Elk says:
kind of annoyed at Rey/Punk
short match and it killeda feud you could easily keep going for months

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
good job wwe
did we get a sermon from the mount?

The Elk says:
my feed cut out during that match, got it back right after

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
right forgot

The Elk says:
no worries

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
2 canadians in one of the main events = awesome

The Elk says:
didn't I tell you about my pro wrestling in the olympics idea?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
no man
the spanish table is still there must b waiting for the ut match

The Elk says:
lol
I figure you can do pro wreslting in the olympics and judge it like pairs figure skating

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
it's certainably doable

The Elk says:
I figured Team Canada would do really well. Canada, Japan, Mexico, fuck it would be a sport Samoa could win a gold in

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
I miss umanga

The Elk says:
yeah...unfortunately.....
fuck that was awesome
so well timed

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
ok that was aweseome
spear code breaker

The Elk says:
this is good

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
damn right

The Elk says:
too bad it's a crap fest next
E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
y2j

The Elk says:
wow, kind of surprised

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
same here
maybe they're going to extend the feud or swagger banks tonight

The Elk says:
possibly
I wouldn't mind seeing this feud going on a bit longer
and there goes the spainish announce table

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
nice

The Elk says:
I was wrong, it still stands lol

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
taker and shawn will break it

The Elk says:
lol

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yoshi tatsu
divas time to get some foods

The Elk says:
that was the WWE paycheck match

The Elk said (9:45 PM):
...that was terrible but at least it was short

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
sweet ut and shawn are last

The Elk says:
yup. I'm betting this match goes about 20/25 and then the rest with be for UT/Micheals

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah it's only 9:50

The Elk says:
the funny thing is, this feud has actually 1) gotten Batista over as a heel (after how many tries) and 2) Got Batista doing decent promos

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yeah his mike work has certainly improved

The Elk says:
two bad he can't wrestle. He's had one awesome match...against taker... and who carried that one?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
This is the match they've been wanting to do for years...let's hope it's not a complete fuck up
and every time cena has a goffy intro

The Elk says:
I must admit, I liked the year with the marching band

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
that was ok
maybe it's becaus eI hate cena

The Elk says:
lol
I don't hate him, I just think we need a break...like a year
or four

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
or a multiple break in his entire body

The Elk says:
lol
well they've got Bret for a bit, give Cena time off, send him to Calgary...for that matter Batista too

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
there's a sign in the back that says batista likes fishsticks

The Elk says:
HAHAHA
BATISTA IS A GAY FISH!

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
or has kanye west level intelligence

The Elk says:
you know Roidista is a grandfather?
fuck heard Cena call that.

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
why doesn't it suprise me that his kid would be a giant whore

The Elk says:
lol
that and Dave's old
he started late, not as late as the Boogie Man but late

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
spine buster!

The Elk says:
well this isn't as terrible as I thought but it aint great

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
I rather have this than split up edge and jericho and have 1 goo match and one garbage match rather than 2 mediocore matches

The Elk says:
fair enough
fuck that was a sloppy spot

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yup

The Elk says:
I've seen better in indys
urgh

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
dammit

The Elk says:
who the put him up against now? Is there anyone on RAW he hasn't done a feud with?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
trips? again????? good thing I only watch smackdown

The Elk says:
what fucking match were those guys watching? "Highlight after highlight" ???

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
they had the kool aid before the match

The Elk says:
40 mins of UT/Micheals

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
MATCH OF THE NIGHT AND IT HASN"T EVEN STARTED
and the crwod goes nuts just seeing the graphic

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
no bullshit no run ins just let these dogs of war go

The Elk says:
urgh my video fed is lagging but the sound is fine
no monks this year

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
get your popcorn this is going to be a good one
the only thing that would make this better is if jr was calling it

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
I hate cole

The Elk says:
lol
he butchers the word ironic on a match by match basis

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
VINTAGE!!!!!!!!!
I fukin hate him
"IS THE CAREER OVER???????? IS THE CAREER OVER????????"

The Elk says:
wow this is a great old school match

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
wouldn't have it any other way

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
tombstone on the outside
rest spot

The Elk says:
nice!

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
devils gate into pinning combonation!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
2 secs till spanish table obliteration

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
you called it

The Elk says:
oh guess it's the english one first
elbow

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
yup

The Elk says:
or moonsault

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
or is he crazy enough for a moon saut
yes!

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
IT WAS A MOON SALUT!!!!!
refresh!!!!!!

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
match of forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
lol

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
I love that little kick to the head

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
SOME ONE SHUT COLE UP!!!!!!!!!
TAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|

The Elk says:
That was a great finish!

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
match of the night
match of the year

The Elk says:
Sean's neck however must feel like shit

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
the resason I watch wrestling

The Elk says:
How many tombstones?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
2

The Elk says:
I thought there was a few more in there

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
in that flurry there was 2
I think there was two more
are you going to do a commentary on this at all?

The Elk says:
lolI was thinking of posting our conversation

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Elk says:
lol done

6 months till he's back?

E.R.F. -- The Road Scholar says:
december if we're lucky
from what I saw Ortn was good, the tag match was a god way to start, I still have to watch mitb bret did the sharpshooter...I would have liked to see sheamus go over alright mania all in all
and taker and shawn was everything old school wrestling fans wanted

The Elk says:
Agreed, very good ring psychology

Bret Hart: Surviving the Hitman review

2010-03-24T01:55:00.003-04:00

* Full disclosure: Two of the people who made the documentary that is being reviewed are members of the Bite Radio podcast as well as doing some television work for Bite. If you're a fan of our show, you know TATANS has a great relationship with Bite TV and the guys who work there. That being said, I call a spade a spade, always have, always will. Ask Alex Krueger. He's been coming to me for opinions on his writing and his music and he will be the first one to tell you how brutal I can be on a review. And we've been friends for 12 years.

I am an unabashed wrestling fan.

Have been for a long time now. I know it's staged, I know a lot about how matches are constructed and performed and I've even had a chance to meet and talk to a few of my favorites.

Hell, Terry Funk bled on my shoes and I was happy about it.

One of my favorites was always Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Not particularly outstanding on his mic work or in appearance but in the ring he was a technician. Bret seemed to be able to pull out a good match out of anyone. A few weeks ago, I caught a match he had against Yokozuna, a huge Japanese (really a Samoan) with a sumo gimmick and I was amazed at even after all this time that 1) The match still held up fairly well and 2) That Bret made this match work despite the size and style difference.

Bret was also a wrestler a guy like me could look at realistically and think "I could do that. I'll never be huge like Hulk Hogan or Lex Luger but this guy is about my size. If I worked at it, I could be a wrestler too."

But unfortunately his career was cut short in many ways. Starting with the infamous Montreal Screw Job where Bret was "screwed" out of the championship. That was followed by a very lackluster run in WCW (no fault to Bret on this one. He unfortunately jumped on to the Titanic minutes before it hit the iceberg) and a match with Bill Goldberg that probably ended his career. Following that, Bret took a spill on his bike without wearing a helmet. That combined with his previous concussions caused a stroke.

Between the stroke, the concussions, the in-ring death of his brother Owen and the fact that Vince McMahon, the man who "screwed" Bret, now owned the wrestling world (Vince bought his competitor in 2001), it kind of looked like Bret was done with the world of wrestling.

And then Decemeber 2009 came around an the wrestling world learned that Bret was coming home to the WWE.

Which brings us to The Fight Network's "Bret Hart: Surviving the Hitman". The documentary follows Bret's career from starting out in his father's Stampede promotion all the way until after his current WWE return.

The trick with doing a doc like this is to bring something new to the table. Bret's life has been covered in a variety of ways at this point. There's the excellent "Wrestling with Shadows" which filmed during the time of the Montreal Screw Job and captures Bret, his career and the entire situation going into Montreal really well. There's Bret's autobiography which comes across as very honest and has a lot about his life and his career and his thoughts on the business in general. There's also dvds, shoot interviews, etc etc etc.

From what I understand, Surviving the Hitman wasn't just aimed at me, it was aimed a lot of the current viewers who only have a vague idea of who Bret was. He has been out of the ring for a while and with Bret playing a large part in Wrestlemania this year, it might be a good idea for the Fight Network to do a recap and introduce Bret to a new audience.

I'm happy to say that this documentary has something for newer wrestling fans and older wrestling fans alike.

For those of us who know know Bret's story, the information isn't very new but it's presented through a few different voices. We get to hear a bits of the story from his brothers Bruce, Keith and Ross. From Carl DeMarco who used to be president of WWE Canada. From Lance Storm who was a fan of Bret's and trained in Calgary under the Hart family. We even from Paul Jay who directed Wrestling with Shadows.

While the information is well know to a guy like me, it's presented in a fresh manner with a bit of a different take from these other people. I was afraid when I started watching Surviving the Hitman, I'd be bored. You can tell right from the start that you are going to hear a lot of things you already have. But presented in this manner and inter cut with footage and picture montages, I was pretty much sucked in.

If you don't know Bret, this content is new and done in a great manner to quickly grasp while not losing anything. It's an easy to watch Bret Hart history lesson.

The general overall production is great as well. The producers chose to go without a narrator, letting all of the people involved tell the story. I usually prefer this method as it seems less forced and more honest. I also love some of the candid footage they use through out, especially a moment where Bret wrestles with his dog and starts doing a great impression of his father Stu. I was also intrigued seeing Bret watch the screw job match and give a bit of play by play to the whole thing, it's something we've never seen before and it shows you how much this one event did really affect him.

My only complaint and to be completely honest it's not a complaint as it is a compliment is that I want more. I would have loved to see more about Bret after the Screw Job. Just more on his thoughts on his WCW career and match info, more on the process of his return to the WWE. While none of this takes away from the documentary,I'd love to have this on dvd with a second disc of bonus features.

Which I guess, kind of sums up my review. I enjoyed "Bret Hart: Surviving the Hitman" enough that I'd purchase it on dvd and would even buy it as a two disc set despite the fact you can watch it for free on youtube. For old wrestling fans, it has new takes on old information. For new wrestling fans, it will completely gear you up for Bret's return at Wrestlemania. And for non wrestling fan, I'd take a look at it. You might be surprised out how interesting you find it.

Bret Hart: Surviving the Hitman will be airing again on the Fight Network, Thursday and Friday at 6pm, Saturday at 4pm and Sunday at 5pm but if you don't get Fight, you can watch the entire thing HERE

Mystery Asshole Theatre #4 - Three the Hard Way

2010-03-18T22:51:00.003-04:00

To apologize for the lack of posts as of late, and especially the lack of MAT episodes, we decided that March is a very special month.

In fact, it's so special, that we decided to officially christen March as Blacksploitation History Month, in which people of all ages, races, and creeds can gather to enjoy and remember all of the many wonderful blacksploitation films, especially the lesser known ones.

Let's be honest, everyone knows Shaft and Dolemite, but how many remember Black Belt Jones, or our feature on this episode, Three the Hard Way.

This masterpiece plays up the blacksploitative angle just a little further than most, by having our heroes infiltrate and take down a group of terrorist white supremacists. It is as ridiculous and awesome as it sounds.

This movie shouldn't be that hard to obtain by legitimate means (Brent bought a 4-pack that included it for relatively cheap), or simply go to the store and rent.

Download Mystery Asshole Theatre #4 - Three the Hard Way

Predators, Expendables, Machete, Tron! It's the 80's all over again!

2010-03-13T05:35:00.004-05:00

The joys of staying up late.

I just happened upon the official website for Predators.

Go check it out and then we'll continue to talk?

Did you check out the sneak preview?

Awesome isn't it?

I know, I know, I shouldn't hype a movie too much before I see it but this is so far looks like the Predator movie I would make. Practical effects, a metric shit ton of bad asses, action!

It's one of those things that I miss in movies.

CG is great and all but some things just look better if it's a guy in a rubber suit. It's part of the reason I loved the Hellboy movies so much in their design. They really got how to mix cg with practical effects and my hope is Robert Rodriguez (who is know to be good at that stuff) instilled this esthetic to Predators direct Nimrod Atal.

Not to mention it's sticking to the original concepts that worked but tweeking them enough so it's a new movie and different then the old. But hopefully not going overboard like the first AvP film.

It's another sign that the 80's action flick is slowing working it's way in. If you listen to the show, you know how much I loved Rambo. Yeah in many ways it was a simple minded film but at least people bled when you shot them.

So we have Predators and then there is The Expendables.

We have every action star in the 80's and 90's in this film with the exception of three (JCVD, Segal and Kurt Russell). They've even thrown in two UFC fighters, Jason Statham and Mickey Rourke for good measure.

Things blow up, one liners are snappy, oh the glory.

Here's the trailer if you missed it:

Which leaves us with one that's coming in under the radar.

Machete.

Machete is kind of an interesting project as it spins out of a fake trailer in the totally under appreciated Grindhouse.

And the film version is essentially going to be this but longer.

And stars pretty much everyone that wasn't available for The Expendables. Some how Robert Rodriguez managed to even get Robert DeNiro in the flick.

But as you can tell by the original fake trailer, it's going to have some good old fashioned violence and one liners.

So I guess the 80's ensemble action flick is coming back.

Now all I need is a Tron sequel....oh WAIT!

It's like I'm 12 all over again!

Episode 18 - Part 4

2010-03-07T21:32:00.004-05:00

Finally, we come to the end of the Second Annual Assies, where the Two Assholes, and all of the Guestholes, detail their picks for best and worst of 2009.

In this last part, we briefly run down some of the things we are looking forward to in 2010 (some of these have already been released), and the first inductees to the Assies Hall of Fame for their lifelong contribution to nerd-kind.

Download Episode 18 - Part 4 - iPod Enhanced Version

TATANS Extra #3: An Interview with Juliet Landau

2010-02-26T18:14:00.004-05:00

You are indeed some lucky Nerdlets today.

Brent, also known as Pimpbot 3000, has been doing the rounds recently to try and land some choice interviews, and has managed to land an interview by telephone with the one and only Juliet Landau.

Ms. Landau has just completed a new documentary project called "Take Flight", so Brent sat down with her (or at least her picture propped up next to the telephone), and chatted with her about it. So, have a listen, and be sure to click the link to learn more about the film.

Also, given that this is a phone interview, you may need to turn your volume up to hear everything fully.

Download TATANS Extra #3 - iPod Enhanced Version

Until the Light Takes Us film review

2010-02-23T14:43:00.008-05:00

As you've probably noted from scanning through the blog and through the podcast, I'm a big fan of the heavier music genres. Industrial, metal, etc.

So when Nathalia from Explore Music (the lovely woman who posts my articles, puts up with my emails and is generally very nice) dropped me an email letting me know about a documentary on Norwegian Black Metal called Until the Light Takes Us, was coming to Toronto for a limited engagement, I dropped Guesthole and State of Affairs head honcho, Alex an email about taking a look at it. That was soon followed by Adam joining us and we were set.

I'm not a huge black metal fan. What I do like, post black metal purists wouldn't. But I've always been interested in the subculture and legend that surrounds the beginnings of the genre. Suicide, murder, a crap load of church burnings, these guys were supposedly insane.

In fact, I'm willing to bet a lot of you out there aren't sure what is black metal. Well it's dark, it's loud and surprisingly a bit symphonic.

Here's an example

Until The Light Takes Us tries to bring the viewer into that world and subculture. We end up following two people in particular; Gylve “Fenriz” Nagell from Darkthrone and Varg Vikernas of Burzum. Varg is the more well known of the two having been convicted of burning a couple of churches as well as the murder of Mayhem guitarist Oystein “Euronymous” Aarseth.

Now content wise, the filmmakers made a good choice in following these two guys. Nagell is all about the music. He seems to have very little interest in the politics of the time or the subculture that surrounded black metal beyond the music and the guys he knew in other bands. Varg on the other hand seems to be a lot about the politics and ideals of an anti Christian movement and the music is a bit secondary.

This brings us into an interesting world where we see both sides of black metal. We see both the art and the politics. We hear about how the music got started and we hear from Varg's mouth his version of Euronymous's murder.

Unfortunately where this film fails is in the editing.

Now I'll be fair. Until the Light Takes Us is currently a “festival” film. It's playing in a variety of small markets and film festivals around the world so there is a chance this isn't the final edit of the film although we didn't have any indication that this wasn't the final cut.

While a lot of the information content is very good, the film goes into these side tracks that don't really have anything to do with the main subject. There's a sizable chunk the follows an artist that is doing a black metal art show. Sure when Nagell checks out the exhibition, it's worth noting but the fact the film follows this artist beyond that takes away from the rest of the film and is a bit annoying. Why are we following this artist when there's so much more of the black metal culture to explore. Even small simple question like “why corpse paint was introduced?” are ignored. A majority of the black metal bands wear it, we do find out the Mayhem singer Dead was one of if not the first to wear it but beyond that, there's no explanation.

Between this and the seemingly endless shots of following Nagell walking the streets of Oslo, the 90 minute film tends to drag. Alex and Adam both had a hard time staying awake during portions of the film and I don't blame either of them.

Part of the problem, especially in terms of metal, is we've been spoiled by a great doc called Metal: A Headbanger's Journey. It's a great documentary on all genres of metal that is very well paced and enjoyable to watch, I spent a good chunk of watching Until the Light Takes Us thinking “Man, I really wish the Metal guys had made this film.”

Now as for the soundtrack, it's a really nice mix of ambient electronic music and black metal that I really enjoyed. Apparently Boards of Canada did some of it and I'll admit, if there is ever a cd of the soundtrack, I'll pick it up.

So as far as a rating, this is a solid thumb in the middle. The interviews are great but the over all film needs an editor or six to re-work it, maybe delve back in and get some interview bits that were shortened or cut out and replace the many street scenes with them.

Alex also has a look at it over at State of Affairs for a slightly different perspective. In the meantime, here's the trailer.

Episode 18 - Part 3

2010-02-22T00:01:00.003-05:00

We're back with the third part of the 2nd Annual Assies, celebrating the best and worst of nerditude from 2009.

This is part 3 of 4, so we should be bringing you new (and equally entertaining) content in very short order. Nevertheless, we start to get to the juicy bits, including perennial favourite categories: Nerd Man and Woman of the Year, as well as their counterparts: Douche and Douchette of the Year.

Download Episode 18 - Part 3 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 18 - Part 2

2010-02-15T23:32:00.003-05:00

Unfortunately, the delay in bringing you the second part of the Second Annual Assies was longer than anticipated. I'm not going to apologize for it, however, as it was caused entirely by the fact that I was out of the country, on my honeymoon.

So, without further ado, here is Part 2 of the Second Annual Assies.

Download Episode 18 - Part 2 - iPod Enhanced Version

My Top 5 Comedic Personalities

2010-02-11T02:00:00.003-05:00

Comedy is a very subjective thing.

What you think is funny and what I think is funny can be two very different things.

Yesterday, Guesthole Alex Krueger (aka Alex James) post on his blog State of Affairs, his top five c0medic personalities. The list which in all fairness to Alex, is pretty hard to dispute.

Now Alex and I aren't hugely dissimilar in age or up bringing. We're both white males, both grew up with both our parents and grew up in the same general area of the world so it kind of makes sense our lists our very similar.

However, Alex's blog is in conjunction with a blog an associate of his named Lu Galasso and I can tell just by looking at his list that Lu is of a certain age. I also believe the man has been hit in the head one too many times.

So for the sake of the rest of this blog (as I will probably reference them a few times) I suggest reading both of their blogs (both hyperlinked above) first.

You read them?

You sure?

Good.

Now I will start out by explaining the fact that I am a researcher. You've heard Adam and Alex on our podcast comment mention numerous times that it is amazing the amount of general pop culture knowledge I have (or making fun of me for it, which ever comes first). Part of that comes from the fact of when I like something, I tend to look up more on it, dig at it until I find the root. Part of the reason I don't listen that 90% of modern punk bands is because 90% of the time what they are doing was done better by someone else (like The Ramones, Sex Pistols, Social Distortion, Bad Religion, Rancid) and their "new" work is derivative of that.

So for those who were hoping I would be waving the banners of Carlos Mancia or Dane Cook...well hopefully this blog will teach you something.

Like how to have a better sense of humor.

So here we go, my top five comedic personalities in no particular order.

George Carlin

If you've ever thought anything I do is funny, this man is one to blame. Or my Dad who gave me a tape with Class Clown on it (now my memory is a bit foggy but it may be the very same tape that Alex ended up listening to in high school but I could be wrong).

Either way, Carlin was brilliant.

George is one of those odd comedians who completely over hauled his act at one point. When he first started, he was very straight laced, wore suits and told jokes that while funny, you would never guess today that it was the Carlin we all know and love. But upon changing his style and taking some cues from Lenny Bruce, Carlin not only became funnier but more relevant.

The genius of Carlin's act was how he could do anything with it. As Alex points out in his blog, he did some very topical humor aimed at everything from censorship, Vietnam, advertising and religion along with whatever happened in the news but he could easily switch gears and talk about his childhood, rubber vomit and just other things that are just kind of silly.

Take for example this bit about stuff.

Without George Carlin, the world of comedy would be a different place.

Richard Pryor

Another example of a comic that overhauled his act, Pryor for all intents and purposes was a poor man's Bill Cosby when he started. Very straight laced, very friendly to the white audience. And then somewhere along the line that changed.

And while his act wasn't directly aimed at the white audience as it previously was, Pryor started making his humor more personal where young white kids would still find it hilarious. He would be able to turn things as personal as when a crack pipe exploded in his hands into a great routine.

Pryor also gets points for his comedic progeny. From Pryor we got Eddie Murphy (who used to by funny), Chris Rock (who is still funny) and Dave Chappelle. And a bit of trivia for you. Richard Pryor had a very short lived television show produced by The Smothers Brothers. One of the writers on that show?

Robin Williams.

Monty Python

Alright yes it's a group of people but they were funnier as one single unit then separate. To say Monty Python had an influence on my brand of humor would be an understatement of the highest degree. I performed a few Monty Python sketches in high school variety shows. My whole sense of how to make silly things funny comes from their shows. And I'm not the only one. No Monty Python, no Kids in the Hall and possible no Saturday Night Live.

Not to mention that after all these years, I still find Holy Gail one of the funniest movies ever made.

Henry Rollins

Now while one could argue that what he does is not strictly comedy, I'd argue that most or the really good comedians (like Carlin, like Pryor) don't strictly do comedy as part of their act. If you never seen one of his "talking" (I've noticed he tends to refer to them as that now as opposed to spoken word), essentially you go, you sit down and you listen to Henry speak about his life for three hours.

And while there are some rather serious moments, the man does not take himself very seriously and injects a lot of humor into his act.

And we have very similar opinions on the state of music.

Here he is talking about the time he discovered a guy trying to break into his house.

Bill Cosby

Due to the fact that it's been so long since the general public has seen Bill Cosby in his prime doing stand up, it's easy to look over and forget that the reason why guys like Pryor and Carlin started their careers in a similar path.

The fact that Cosby was simply that good. He had timing, presence and a sensibility that has been passed through a ton of a comics over the years.

You know when a woman tells you that natural child birth is like taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head?

Despite what the young'ens think, Family Guy did not create that gag, Cosby did.

There's always been something about his humor I can relate to. Maybe it's the fact my Dad always used the threat "I brought you into this world, I can take you out" or that I grew up watching The Cosby Show on Thursday nights but I have a profound affection for the man's work.

Take this bit for instance. First performed before I was born, it is still as relevant today as it was then.

So there you have it, my list of the 5 funniest comic entities. I'll be honest, the last one was a toss up between Cosby, Denis Leary, Bill Hicks, Lewis Black, Robin Williams, Dave Chappelle, Weird Al and the entire first two seasons of SNL but I think my list is pretty good.

What say you?

Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic review

2010-02-01T17:00:00.004-05:00

Animation is weird to review.

More then any other style of entertainment, I find reviewing and critiquing animation becomes very subjective. Essentially it boils down to the content and the art style.

Let's take the DC Universe style of animation for instance. As listeners of the TATANS podcast know, I love the DCU style and have ever since Batman: The Animated Series. My co-host, Adam, doesn't like it at all. He likes the writing and the stories but doesn't like the over all design and look of the cartoon.

Which brings us to Anchor Bay's latest animated offering, Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic.

Based on the video game that's loosely based on the first part Dante's Divine Comedy.

Very loosely.

Story wise, Dante's Inferno is pretty decent. We follow crusader knight, Dante as he goes through the various circles of Hell in order to get his beloved Beatrice away from Lucifer.

Dante does this while wielding a huge scythe. Huge. Like Ryu Haybusa would be proud of this sucker.

Dante does this while slaughtering demons and confronting his sins.

Overall a pretty decent plot. The only part that I didn't like story wise was a bit of the dialogue.

Here's a preview of what you hear a lot.

Dante: "BEATRICE!"

Beatrice: "DANTE!"

Dante: "BEATRICE!"

Beatrice: "DANTE!"

That happens a lot.

Voice overs include Graham McTavish (who I love in Rambo) as Dante and a nerd favorite, Mark Hamill as Dante's dad. The voices are pretty good as is the overall sound design.

And then there is the animation.

Dante's Inferno is another in the parade of animated films that uses different Japanese animation studio per story chapter. We've seen this before in things like The Animatrix and Batman: Gotham Knight.

And much like those previous mentioned features, Dante's Inferno is a bit of a mixed bag but I will say that due to the nature of going through various circles of Hell, it does work a bit better the Gotham Knights did but not as well as The Animatrix. My favorite segment is probably the last battle between Lucifer and Dante, great animation work, good action.

Now...is it worth buying?

I would give this a definite rent with a maybe to buy. The story is decent the animation is good, the voice over work and sound are great but there seems to be something a little lacking.

We will have another review of this dvd later in conjunction with a review of the video game from Guesthole Evan Fraser.

Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic is available on February 9th on DVD and Blu Ray from Anchor Bay Entertainment.

Episode 18 - Part 1

2010-01-27T22:54:00.003-05:00

It's that time of year again.

The Two Assholes, and all four Guestholes have gathered together to bring you the 2nd Annual Assies, in which we award the best and worst of geek and pop culture for 2009.

This year, we kept the format from the 1st Annual Assies, in that everyone is a winner (or loser), by which we mean that both Assholes, and all of the Guestholes get to give nods for their picks for the best and worst of each category.

The downside to this is that we have a lot of categories, 6 nerds, and a tendency to ramble and get off on tangents. This makes for an entertaining listen, I assure you, but a very long episode. The total runtime for this episode was about 3.5 hours. Therefore, we're going to try a slightly new format.

As Brent had mentioned before, one of our aims for 2010 is to produce shorter episodes, and more of them. Accordingly, we're going to release the 2nd Annual Assies in 4 parts. Organizationally, it doesn't make sense to split this episode up into Episodes 18-21, so it's just Episode 18, released in parts.

If you're a fan of the lengthy episodes, however, don't worry, because the High Quality version that has become a staple of our show will be the full 3.5 hour spectacular.

So, without further ado, give a listen to the first portion of the 2nd Annual Assies.

Download Episode 18 - Part 1 - iPod Enhanced Version

TATANS gets interviewed

2010-01-25T12:34:00.003-05:00

Guesthole Alexander James (Krueger) decided that Adam and I would make good interview subjects for his first podcast with his blog State of Affairs.

It's a bit different to be on the other side of the stick for lack of a better term but I think we did well.

Part 1
Part 2

Halo 3 for Haiti

2010-01-20T20:48:00.001-05:00

Hi guys, normally I'm not a gung-ho, donate to charity, Bono wanna be or anything but I felt this might be a good and easy thing for those 360 owners among you to help out.

Bungie has decided that for every person that changes their armor insignia in the following fashion From Wed till Thurs at 11:59pm, Bungie will donate $100 per person (up to $77 000) to the Red Cross's Haitian relief effort.

All you have to do is the following:
a. Press START
b. Select “SETTINGS” / “APPEARANCE”
c. Select “EMBLEM”
d. Select “Hearts” ICON, “Circle” BACKGROUND
e. Back out to the APPEARANCES menu and select “COLORS”
f. Set “EMBLEM PRIMARY” to RED (or MAROON / BRICK / ROSE depending on which game you’re playing!)
g. Set “EMBLEM SECONDARY” to WHITE

And play on Xbox Live Halo 3 or Halo 3 ODST.

It's that simple, no credit cards, no money orders, no Bono, but you will be helping.

I will be playing tonight probably after 9pm and probably a bit tomorrow evening as well. Please feel free to add me as a friend on Xbox live, my gamer tag is

BcGrendel316

If you want the full skinny check out:

http://www.bungie.net/News/content.aspx?type=topnews&link=BeAHero

Please feel free to send or post your gamer tags.

Brent

Episode 17

2010-01-13T07:42:00.006-05:00

It's a little delayed, but the Two Assholes finally present to you the livecast of the Two Assholes Talking About Nerd Stuff: First Anniversary Special.

This was taped at the Fox and Fiddle at Bloor St and St. George in Toronto (right near St. George Station) on November 11, 2009.

A good time was had by all, and we'd like to once again thank all of our special guests, the Guestholes, the Fox and Fiddle, and everyone else who came out, for making it an enjoyable and memorable event.

If you missed it, here's your chance to pretend that you were there. If you want us to do another such special for our Second Anniversary, let us know in the comments.

Download Episode 17 - iPod Enhanced Version

Episode 17 (High Quality)

2010-01-13T07:42:00.005-05:00

It's a little delayed, but the Two Assholes finally present to you the livecast of the Two Assholes Talking About Nerd Stuff: First Anniversary Special.

This was taped at the Fox and Fiddle at Bloor St and St. George in Toronto (right near St. George Station) on November 11, 2009.

If you missed it, here's your chance to pretend that you were there. If you want us to do another such special for our Second Anniversary, let us know in the comments.

Download Episode 17 - iPod Enhanced Version

The mystery of the Prince Vault

2010-01-09T08:09:00.006-05:00

If you've followed the blog or the podcast. it's pretty easy to tell that I am a fan of Prince.

Hell, I've often said if Prince knocked on my door as a Jehovah's Witness that I would be more then happy to have him preach to me because it's freaking Prince!

And for those wondering, yes he is a JW and yes he does occasionally do the door to door thing.

Okay to qualify, more old Prince then current Prince but he's an artist that I will give a listen to just on principle. Album wise, he's never done anything terrible, just albums that are not to my taste.

I even love Purple Rain in it's craptacular glory...the movie I mean... the album is just awesome.

There is no denying his talent as not only a song writer but as a musician. Take a look at the following video for instance. This is taken from the 2004 Rock N Roll Hall of Fame inductions. Prince was among the artist inducted as was George Harrison (as a solo artist). Watch the guitar solo at the 3:30 mark.

Now you know why many versions of this youtube video are labeled "Best guitar solo ever".

On a separate note just when you look at everyone on stage, isn't it kind of like that old Sesame Street bit?

"One of these things is not like the others..."

He is definitely the best dressed.

But the thing I like about Prince is his mysterious "vault."

Now a good majority of the public discovered this vault through our good friend, Kevin Smith speaking about a documentary he did for Prince that will never see the light of day around the summer of 2001.

Now I have included it below but my summary up above pretty much sums up the story in less then 30 minutes. But if you haven't heard Kevin's version of the story...it's worth a watch. But if not just scroll past the videos.

Prince fans however have known about the Prince vault for some time. Through out the years Prince has had a history of producing videos, albums and even a possible movie (although details on that are sketchy at best).

And it's not like all of it is based on rumor and conjecture. We know about the Kevin Smith documentary for instance due to the man in question talking about it. A number of Prince's unreleased albums we know about because they've been mentioned in Prince material or record company listings.

Let's take Prince's The Black Album for instance... speaking of which how many Black albums are there by various artists?

Originally planned for a December 7th, 1987 release, the album was suddenly canceled right before it was supposed to be released. Promo copies were out in Europe and a few legit copies had leaked into the hands of a few people in North America. At one point this album was thought to be one of he most bootlegged after The Beach Boys Smile. And much like Smile, The Black Album did eventually get a real release. (The funny part being that by this point most Prince fans had this album in one way, shape or form of bootleg)

Now here comes something I find astonishing. In it's place the Lovesexy album was released in January 1988.

That's right. Within a month, Prince recorded, mixed and mastered an entire album.

What's even more astonishing was that at that time Prince had two other albums on the shelf that weren't really known to the general public.

And this trend has continued over the years. 1988: Rave Unto The Joy Fantastic (not to be confused with a similar titled album he released years later...by the way, Prince reuses names a lot), 1994: The Tora Tora Experience, 1994/95: The Undertaker, 1997: The Dawn (another name that pops up occasionally in the Prince unreleased catalogue), 1998: The Roadhouse Garden, and so on and so on.

The important thing to remember is during all these shelving's, Prince was more or less releasing music. There is a brief era during the 90's (when he became Symbol Man) where he wasn't releasing music due to a contract dispute but for the most part there is one or two albums released for each of the unreleased.

There are at least two documentaries in Prince's vault. One is the Kevin Smith directed one and the other is professionally shot footage during his 1981 tour called The Second Coming. There is an estimated 50 music videos (although that may be an exaggeration as I've only seen proof of a dozen).

As Kevin Smith mentions, money was spent. None of this stuff is cheap. Sure his recording costs are smaller due to owning his own studio complex but music videos and documentaries, even those done on the cheap, still cost money.

So the question is...what is Prince going to do with all of this stuff?

Kevin Smith figures it's an after the bomb scenario. Myself, I have two thoughts.

1) Eventually Prince will die and someone gets to host a tv special going into his vault like that Geraldo/Al Capone's vault special except way better music accompanying it. And then suddenly Prince will appear in the Vault and it will be the biggest box set release in the history of the music industry.

2) When Prince is ready, he will unleash all of it on the internet. All of it. He will become the most downloaded artist of all time due to fans, accidental downloads and sheer volume. Eventually leading to a sect of Prince worshipers.

Or he could be really weird and we'll never see any of it.